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Hey Sis! November 10, 2008

Posted by sociallyacceptableinsanity in Atheism.
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As usual, whenever I ponder the ridiculous stories contained in the Bible, I find myself getting side-trackedadam_and_eve1 by glaring inconsistencies and huge plot holes.  And I start asking questions.  For one thing, in the Christian Bible, Genesis Two, it says that after god created Adam he created the animals, which Adam then named, but “but for Adam not was found a helper corresponding to him.”  Now, since Eve had yet to be created, meaning that Adam had no mate, my question is this:  had god given the animals mates but then neglected to realize that Adam would want one too, and preferably one who looked like him?  Or was the entire earth at that time populated only by sexually frustrated creatures of only one gender?  Assuming that God, once he realized his mistake (oh, excuse me, I forgot…god doesn’t make mistakes, right?) and created a mate of the opposite sex for Adam, did god then retroactively create female animals?  It must have been busy in the old garden that day, huh?

Then there is that lovely question of where Cain found a mate of his own.  The bible says that after Cain slew Abel (in jealousy, because god, showing great maturity, got pissed at Cain because he thought Cain was being stingy with his presents) he went to the Land of Nod, east of Eden, and there took a wife. 

I am not the first person in the world to ask where these east of Eden-ites came from, because it would seem that at that time Adam, Eve and Cain were only three people on earth.  I decided to do an internet search and see what religious websites had to say about the matter.  The consensus seems to be that these people were the progeny of Adam and Eve’s many other children, and were born while Cain was wandering in the desert.

I guess what surprises me here is that everywhere I looked it was rather cheerfully stated that we are all the products of incest.  Here’s a typical passage:  “Given that we are all descended from Adam and Eve, either Cain or one of his brothers must have married a sister.”  Now, I’ve always known that this is the religious expanation of our origins, but I’m a  little creeped out that people who would otherwise condemn incest seem to have no trouble embracing the notion if it supports their whacked-out beliefs.   The website www.reasons.org even povides a useful table to illustrate how quickly these brothers and sisters could populate the earth.  It reminds me of those tables you see in pamphlets urging you to spay and neuter your pets…you know, the ones that show how quickly those little critters procreate.

But isn’t incest a sin?  Evidently not.  According to the website mentioned above,

“Though the book of Genesis condemns sexual relations between children and their parents, it nowhere prohibits a man from marrying his sister or niece.”

I guess I get it now.  Incest is a sin but it wasn’t a sin back then, because the bible says it wasn’t.  Now shut up and go picket a family planning clinic or tell gay people that they are abominations.

Crazy.

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